Report by Trentin Quarantino
After getting to sleep at 8.30am I'm really not happy about waking up at 10.30, but as that's exactly what happens I guess I have no option other than to suck it up and deal with it. Harley is already up and about, so I eat a little of the food she made yesterday and we just sit in the kitchen and talk for a few hours about the state of the world.
Then I go back to bed for a couple more hours, before getting up, finishing off the fantastic food cooked by Harley, and heading to work at (not my) home office.
The night starts off quietly enough, and then one of the idiots in charge - also known as managers - sends me a message and wants to see if he can help me access the systems I need for a new account I'm supposed to be supporting. Which he can't - partly because he's asking me to login with the wrong ID and password I'm sure, but he's the manager and should know this shit, so I'm not going to correct him when he clearly thinks he knows what he's talking about, and after a while we give up on this until tomorrow.
Which is fine by me - I'm not working tomorrow.
And then another one of the boss people messages me - the secret is out. Said secret being that just before this virus nonsense started I was put on low skills for a night as the phone system wasn't working properly, and in all the fuss and bullshit they forgot to switch me back. But now they've realised and I'm going to have to start supporting the main account again.
Oh well, it was fun getting away with doing next to nothing while it lasted.
While I'm dealing with the official company mis-management committee, Harley sends me a picture of the wheel that we have for our hedgehog to exercise in. Or, more accurately, she sends me a picture of the perfect ring of shit said hedgehog has managed to wrap around one of the support struts of her wheel.
We remark on how this is a perfect metaphor for the world at the moment - a perfect ring of shit, but other than that there is little more to report from the day.
At around 5am I get a message from the big boss mis-manager - fucking typical, no contact from them for weeks and then three of them contact me in the same night, asking if I'd have an issue working in self isolation in the office if he can arrange it. As it takes me about 8 minutes along very quiet streets to walk to the office compared to 45+ to get to (not my) home office, I'm very happy with this idea, and refrain from mentioning that I had already suggested it about 10 days ago.
He's going to let me know about that, but I'm hoping it can happen.
At 7.30am I leave work and sleep walk home - I know I've mentioned this a few times already, but the tiredness and lethargy I'm feeling are really getting to me. By the time I get off the metro and start the 10 minute walk back to the flat I'm barely able to keep my eyes open, and because of having the facemask on for so long I'm also having issues breathing.
I get home and see Harley cooked again, so gobble down the food and fall into bed a few minutes later. I'm so happy I don't have to work today.
After getting to sleep at 8.30am I'm really not happy about waking up at 10.30, but as that's exactly what happens I guess I have no option other than to suck it up and deal with it. Harley is already up and about, so I eat a little of the food she made yesterday and we just sit in the kitchen and talk for a few hours about the state of the world.
Then I go back to bed for a couple more hours, before getting up, finishing off the fantastic food cooked by Harley, and heading to work at (not my) home office.
The night starts off quietly enough, and then one of the idiots in charge - also known as managers - sends me a message and wants to see if he can help me access the systems I need for a new account I'm supposed to be supporting. Which he can't - partly because he's asking me to login with the wrong ID and password I'm sure, but he's the manager and should know this shit, so I'm not going to correct him when he clearly thinks he knows what he's talking about, and after a while we give up on this until tomorrow.
Which is fine by me - I'm not working tomorrow.
And then another one of the boss people messages me - the secret is out. Said secret being that just before this virus nonsense started I was put on low skills for a night as the phone system wasn't working properly, and in all the fuss and bullshit they forgot to switch me back. But now they've realised and I'm going to have to start supporting the main account again.
Oh well, it was fun getting away with doing next to nothing while it lasted.
While I'm dealing with the official company mis-management committee, Harley sends me a picture of the wheel that we have for our hedgehog to exercise in. Or, more accurately, she sends me a picture of the perfect ring of shit said hedgehog has managed to wrap around one of the support struts of her wheel.
We remark on how this is a perfect metaphor for the world at the moment - a perfect ring of shit, but other than that there is little more to report from the day.
At around 5am I get a message from the big boss mis-manager - fucking typical, no contact from them for weeks and then three of them contact me in the same night, asking if I'd have an issue working in self isolation in the office if he can arrange it. As it takes me about 8 minutes along very quiet streets to walk to the office compared to 45+ to get to (not my) home office, I'm very happy with this idea, and refrain from mentioning that I had already suggested it about 10 days ago.
He's going to let me know about that, but I'm hoping it can happen.
At 7.30am I leave work and sleep walk home - I know I've mentioned this a few times already, but the tiredness and lethargy I'm feeling are really getting to me. By the time I get off the metro and start the 10 minute walk back to the flat I'm barely able to keep my eyes open, and because of having the facemask on for so long I'm also having issues breathing.
I get home and see Harley cooked again, so gobble down the food and fall into bed a few minutes later. I'm so happy I don't have to work today.
Additional reporting by Harley Quarantinova
I spent most of the day in an anxious, frozen haze. Outside was cold so I didn't go out to smoke as much as I normally would.
I wanted to play and record some songs but didn't. I don't dare to break the heavy silence.
I felt guilty for being useless so cleaned the hedgehog's boxes and cooked food for Trentin to eat when he comes home in the morning. Saw my reflection in a bathroom mirror and scared myself.
Tried watching some TV interviews with doctors and scientists but caught myself focusing on the way the interviewers' and guests' masks kept slipping.
I feel a deep grief. It is so strong it makes the world surrounding me insignificant. It used to bring me joy to smell the signs of Spring in the air, to see trees bloom and explode with fresh new leaves. It doesn't matter anymore. I'm completely separated from that reality.
The world as I knew it has been taken away from me. I feel that what I used to think of as "normalcy" cannot be achieved anymore. I miss it and get scared of how unfamiliar life feels. I am unable to feel safe in this new unpredictable world. Feeling anything else but grief for that huge loss seems inappropriate. I cannot force myself to escape this state of anger and deep sadness.
My fights with Trentin come from the same place. I miss all the familiar things, even he seems too different from me which suddenly scares me. He cannot fix this, nobody can. Nobody can bring the old world back.
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