Report by Trentin Quarantino
I get home from work at around 7.30am to find a note on the fridge that wasn't there when I left titled "Projects and Ideas". There is only one idea there so far - re-write Yellow Submarine, but that can wait until later. For the time being I just finish off yesterday's dinner and head to bed.
I wake up at 1pm, happy that I don't have to work tonight, less happy that I will have to work the other three nights this week. But my twelve shift a month work schedule is a minor irritation compared to all the other issues going on in the world right now.
As I get up Harley is just getting started on a video call with a friend, so I settle down to read for a while, only to be called upon seconds later to help Harley who has for some reason decided the couch probably really wants to drink her coffee, and then thought better of it a few seconds later. So I help her with the couch cleaning, and then we both go back to our original plans of reading/video call.
After a while I decide to follow the instructions of the fridge and re-write Yellow Submarine. I suspect I might be going a little stir crazy with the lockdown as the new version is titled "Fucking Quarantine".
Harley is still on her call so I go back to reading for the rest of the afternoon. At some point I check on the lockdown, which is due to end tomorrow, and find it is extended to April 1st. I really, really hope that they can end it then, as my birthday is on the 3rd and it will suck to celebrate my birthday in complete isolation.
I also check on the status of a parcel I'm waiting for, and find it's still in Jamaica, where it's been since March 12th. Well at least something of mine is having a fantastic holiday this year - it doesn't look like my summer is going to be all that great.
Harley finishes her video call at around 6pm and we sit and talk for a while. She misses being close to her friends, and so is taking advantage of this lockdown to catch up with people she hasn't spoken to for a long time, and I'm fully supportive of this.
I then start to cook dinner, and Harley decides to record the new version of Yellow Submarine and send it to a friend. We have a brief experiment with me accompanying her on a drum, but it quickly becomes clear that I have no musical talent whatsoever, so I leave her to do what she's good at while I get back to finishing the dinner.
It's amost 11pm by the time we've eaten, and the food coma kicks in pretty fast after that. I head to bed to try and read for a little while as Harley goes for one last cigarette, and then we lie in bed and talk some more before sleep. I guess the one good thing to come out of this is that the two of us are closer than ever before, and we're working out that as long as we have each other nothing else really matters.
Harley finally asks me if I'll take her as my wife, which is a huge deal as far as I'm concerned as she was married before and has been scared to re-commit so far, but she tells me she's finally ready to get married again.
I don't understand at first because she asks in Czech, but once she translates it I of course say yes - I'm not a complete fucking idiot - and we both go to sleep happy. This was the perfect end to the day.
Additional reporting by Harley Quarantinova
These four-hour nights suck. I feel I should sleep more but my brain doesn't want me to. There are things to figure out, moves to make, ideas to grasp, and I won't find peace until I can pinpoint and name them. My subconscious mind is desperately knocking on the door begging to be let in the light and be heard.
The only dream I remember from last night involved me and Trentin having unprotected sex and me allowing the risk of conceiving a human being, which in waking life is a huge NO for me, and so I probably scare him a bit when the first words he hears from me are: "No. No, no, no, not under any circumstances am I having a kid!"
I leave my man lying in the bed coping with the sudden morning confusion and go for a short phone call with my friend before her shift starts. I feel a strange determination growing inside me. Don't know what will come out of it but I'm too experienced with my brain to worry about that much, everything will be revealed and start making sense soon enough.
And then my day just gets incredibly special. For the first time ever I get to have a video call with the first big love of my life. And I start it with spilling my coffee all over the couch! I never used to be this clumsy! Me taking care of the mess I just made gives her time to change her younger offspring's nappy and then we can finally talk about all the things we haven't had time for in the last 9 or so years in which we went seperate ways, and for reasons that are hard to explain weren't in touch at all.
We just cannot get enough of talking to each other now. There aren't topics we would hesitate to touch in the conversation, this woman was never scared of how ugly and undignified life can get, and for the first time ever I feel completely safe to talk about how I ended up where I am now. She's a skinny delicate looking person but I know damn well she's anything but fragile. These country witches are made of stone and steel, and she's the mightiest of them all.
We met when we were just kids and watched each other go through the confusing hell of adolescence, we called each other on our bullshit many times and survived many periods of not talking to each other because we are both bloody stubborn bitches. But we still kept a special place in our hearts for each other that nobody could ever fill. God knows we both tried to fill the holes that we left in each other after our last big break up, and never really succeeded.
In the four hours that we spend talking to each other the world gets colourful and comforting once again, with her kids occasionally appearing in front of the camera trying to re-gain mom's attention, her husband and mom coming to say hi to me or bring her coffee and food. They need to take good care of my friend now, she's sick and her family desperately needs her to get well soon as no one else can cope with the youngsters the way she can.
The warmth I feel after the call is over is overwhelming and I cry for some time, as I feel is in order. Unspeakable things are happening inside me and I don't need or expect anybody in the whole world to understand. Memories of the wildest, most freeing and fulfilling love I got to experience before I learnt to fear and avoid heartbreak carress my soul and some parts of me are finding their peace.
And a shift in my perspective that was announcing itself by sending me internal encrypted messages for some time is no longer willing to stay hidden. It's time to find my way out of this painful insanity. And I'm taking my man with me.
I don't care he doesn't understand the question I give him because I already know the answer. I say it in Czech because it's the only way it makes sense to me. "Vezmeš si mě za ženu?" is followed by the English translation, but the next Czech sentence "Miluju tě, lásko moje" is left for him to eventually figure out. He needs to start learning the language from somewhere and I think this could be a great motivation.
For the first time in my life I am left to lead the way. And I'm taking us to wonderful places, that I can safely promise.
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