Report by Trentin Quarantino
Awoke from peaceful slumber at around 10am to the unwelcome but not exactly unexpected news that the country is now under total lockdown, with the whole nation officially quarantined until March 24th.
My British genes try to force me to run to the store and go panic buying everything that I can find, but then I remember that I'm not actually a selfish fuckwit, and a quick glance in the fridge is enough to remind me that there is plenty of food for the next few days, especially after cooking dinner last night and then not bothering to eat it.
I then spend several hours online checking to see what the actual restrictions are, because as always these days there is a lot of misinformation out there, so it's important to get the proper facts before taking action.
Quickly discover that the government is basically banning people from leaving home unless they have to - going to work is fine, or the supermarket, so that's the basics. It's also okay to walk your dog - even if you have the virus - take food or other important supplies to family members who cannot go and get them themselves, and that it's actually okay to go for a walk, as a nation of people in 24/7 confinement is sure to have a serious impact on mental health.
Supermarkets, pharmacies, pet stores, and gas stations are open - pretty much everything else is closed. Including the pubs, which is going to cause some issues in THIS country, although restaurants can prepare food and send it out for delivery.
So it's going to be a boring 9 days or so then!
By the time all of the relevant information has been processed and discussed it's lunchtime, and due to completely different restrictions already placed on Harley we're not going to be able to go for a refreshing walk today. So instead she goes for a cigarette while I cook lunch.
The afternoon is mostly spent alternating between total boredom - because all the things we always bitch about not having time to do normally have completely slipped our minds, and anger and frustration at the stupid people who seem determined to ignore the restrictions as much as possible - seeing people posting tips on which bars they can get beer from and discuss having 'quarantine parties' makes it clear that some people are just not taking this seriously enough.
By mid-afternoon the news filters through that from tomorrow people will have to wear face masks on public transport, so Harley gets her sewing machine and box of materials out and makes His and Hers matching plague masks. We know they wont really protect us from much, but at least they look amazing.
Eventually it occurs to us to eat yesterday's dinner, so we do that and decide to have an early night. Only to lie in bed discussing how annoying it is that we didn't get to enrol in the Krav Maga class we were planning on taking. This gives Harley the idea to make a couple of clubs by cutting the sleeves off an old sweatshirt and stuffing them with tshirts, and before long we're beating each other over the head with them in the name of exercise.
Fun, completely consensual and not in any way domestic violence-y times were had!
Harley then decides to get her guitar out and play a few songs, and by this time I've had enough fun for one day and retire to bed after checking online one more time and seeing people claiming that there is no such thing as Corona Virus, and if there is it's really just some sort of conspiracy to force people to acccept climate change vaccines.
Additional reporting by Harley Quarantinova
Seventh day after my meltdown. Mind still running wild. Need to do something with my hands. Luckily got a tip from a friend to make DIY face masks to wear outside. Looks like it's going to be mandatory soon enough.
Making face masks looks successful. At least now I'll have a perfectly valid reason for dressing like a lunatic in public. Everybody is. I think I'm going to feel much more normal now that everyone else is a bit nuts and paranoid.
Trentin looks a bit creepy in his mask. He manages to look cunning no matter what he puts on...
I feel accomplished now but not any more relaxed than before. Just less guilty for not taking the crisis seriously. I am now. And I'm going to show the whole world what a responsible adult I am. Here you go - Facebook masked couple selfie. Now validate my trying to fit in, everybody!
Okay, got rid of the stupid pandemic anxiety but now I'm getting annoyed with being shut in a tiny apartment with a huge guy, and getting slightly bored. And frustrated that we didn't get a chance to go for a walk in the empty city centre before this damn lockdown.
Usually I'm perfectly fine lying in bed doing nothing for days, but now every single minute of doing fuck all is eating away the last bits of my sanity. I'm feeling violent. And my man is bugging me about doing something together. Bastard. My inspiration is very low, I want to smack him for wanting me to think constructively... Wait... I want to smack him..
Okay honey, here you go. I cut off the sleeves off a sweatshirt, sewed up the wider ends of each one. Now be a helpful man and give up some of those old t-shirts you no longer wear. I'll contribute another old sweater. Okay, now let's stuff the sleeves with them and sew up the other ends.
Now try to hit me with it. Fun, isn't it?
We had to rearrange the furniture a bit for our first big black dick fight, but it was very uplifting to smack each other with them. I'm better in it though - either he doesn't know how to duck and cover or he's deliberately letting me win.
If our plan to get up early tomorrow and fuck off to the nature doesn't fail we're bringing these with us so we don't have to be careful about not trashing the apartment.
At night some more crying, anxiety, feeling like a bloody loser, but nothing special. Discovered video calls exist.
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