Report by Trentin Quarantino
Due to a curfew imposed on Harley we get up early - well, earlier than we'd really like anyway - to go for a walk in the forest. We have a three hour window and walk out the front door at exactly 10.01am and walk to the metro station, where we have to wear our masks for the first time. It's noticeable that most people are also behaving responsibly, with the exception being the elderly people who are most at risk from the virus.
Well, I guess they survived Communism so a stupid virus is no problem.
We only went two stops on the metro - one of the advantages of living in Prague is that you are never too far away from a park, and promptly removed our masks once we were out in the forest. This is a place we've been to many times before, and it's weird to see it so quiet. Not that we're complaining - we're just happy to be outside.
Harley in particular is clearly overjoyed, taking time to take photos of anything and everything that she can see is starting to bloom, and saying hello to plants and any animals we happen to see during our walk. I can see her mental health improving with every step, and this alone is enough reason to leave the house for a few hours.
We take the clubs we made yesterday with us and have a fight in the middle of the forest, which seems to cause some consternation for the few joggers that pass us. But this is cathartic, and healthy - we aren't trying to hurt each other, and it would probably take about 500 direct shots to the head to induce even the mildest of concussions - but being stuck inside means we have so much pent up energy and this is a simple way to get it out of our system.
We get home a minute or two after Harley's curfew ends, so we're safe from the sick leave inspection for another day, and then I go straight out to the store while I still have my mask on - there is no official need to wear the mask to the store yet, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out it's coming.
When I get to the store I'm semi-disappointed to see that there is still no panic buying frenzy going on - it seems people here are civilised and realise there is no need to buy six months of everything just in case the zombies attack or something. I guess this means the Czech Republic is officially now more advanced than places like the UK, where the government are saying business as usual and the people are saying shop for apocalypse.
When I get home from the store I cook a quick lunch, and then settle down to the main business of the day, which is cooking dinner. We have a duck sitting in our fridge, and it's about time he was introduced to the oven. Once the duck is prepared and in the oven working on his suntan, Harley and I retire to bed for a nap, because why not? Then we have a better idea.
And so it comes to pass that on a Tuesday afternoon during quarantine we decide to start a his and hers blog to keep daily track of life under lockdown, partly because we think there might be people out there who want to read it, but mostly because it will give us a rare chance to see how differently we might be viewing the same events from the same room.
And also just in case society ends next month in a blaze of mass hysteria, and some future generation needs a record of what went wrong so they can totally fail to learn from it.
With the blog up online and attracting practically no attention whatsover, we settle down to eat the duck. Which is cooked perfectly, despite it being me who did the cooking. We spend the rest of the evening in a food coma, before retiring to bed for the night with the Dropkick Murphy's who are playing a live show to no people and broadcasting it online for St Patricks Day.
Additional reporting by Harley Quarantinova
We were able to get up in time to leave the house right after my 3 hours of freedom a day began. Am anxious about going outside but the government website clearly states it's allowed to go for walks to parks and nature.
It surprises me how many people are wearing the face masks and how calm and disciplinned everybody is. Since today it's mandatory to wear masks on public transport, they even installed hand sanitizer dispensers in every metro station.
Two stops from ours is the forest we were aiming for. There weren't many people there, almost nobody wore masks but very happily obeyed the official 2-metre social distancing advice. It's never been this easy to be an introvert before. We're not antisocial, we're responsible and considerate!
And, of course, I saw the first wild flowers this year and jumped up and down and pointed at every woodpecker and bumblebee and greeted blossoms and leaves and gave Trentin random lectures of how to distinguish blackberry and blueberry buds. Scanning my surroundings for plants and animals to get excited about is my favourite passtime.
It was considerably hard to find a godforsaken empty space to have another fat black soft cock fight on, so we ended up smacking each other in the middle of a path and probably confused a few runners and dog owners. Trentin got much better since yesterday, he looked like he's trying to exorcise all the nasty bugs out of my ass, back, legs and head.
When we got sufficiently exhausted and started feeling appropriately ridiculous it was time to head home so I wouldn't break my curfew. We passed a playground with kids jammed inside a little play shelter. Undoubtedly they were playing quarantine.
First thing after coming home we cook some lunch on 3 burners and boil the masks on the remaining one.
My friend called me to tell me she also lost her mind at work and will be on sick leave for the rest of the month.
I also managed to make my first ever video call! Another friend who's on sick leave is fighting the crisis and pain with all kinds of nice drugs. Unfortunately those wouldn't work for me. Talking to people, keeping my hands and mind busy and staying away from the internet is my recipe. And I'm failing terribly on the avoiding internet part. Or keeping my mind off the work stuff. Must try harder in future.
But we're cooking duck for dinner, that always makes my day better. Duck is the perfect antidepressant/antianxiety medication.
Trentin's duck was absolutely perfect. After a long time I'm so happy to eat! I'm praising the bird with every bite I take.
Of course, in the meantime we very accidentally blew our Facebook friends' minds with officially announcing we share a household. Since August 2018. No real news, guys. And the reaction is the same as if we just got bloody married. Real reason is that Facebook hates me and doesn't want to show me what Trentin posts so I have to fucking stalk him to find out what he reads, shares, posts, thinks, likes... Bloody hell, nobody has enough time and attention for that these days!
Please, social networks, stop filling my feed with what my rich successful amazing highschool classmates do and help me out in keeping track of the man I actually want to know inside and out!
So I discussed this with Trentin and we came out with the same conclusion - let's officially declare our partnership on the bloody social media. Not that it helped - I still need to stalk him. I think I will cheat as usual and just open my mouth and talk to him.
We decided to end our day with a punk concert. It's St. Patrick's Day and this Irish band from Boston is live streaming their show for all the people who cannot leave their homes to come and watch them. So they perform on a usual stage without any actual audience. It's admirable but also very bizarre to watch.
Trentin falls asleep soon, as he always does in front of the screen. I'm doing my best to enjoy the music without being able to recognise the words. Second portion of the duck should help with that. Unfortunately Trentin let his enthusiasm lead his hand with the caraway and this night promises to be an exceptionally windy one.
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