Blog suspended until further notice due to a complete lack of motivation to write about the same things happening day after day after day after day after day into infinity and beyond...

The reason this blog exists...

With the ever growing Covid-19 crisis and resultant restrictions throughout the Czech Republic, we feel it is imperative that some of the common people have a voice and can tell you the truth about life under lockdown.

We will do our utmost to post daily updates for the duration of the crisis, but obviously we have such a busy schedule with seeing what everyone else is up to on social media we might forget. Or we might just get bored.

Now, you might wonder who we are, and why we feel we're qualified to give information about this subject.

As for who we are first:

Trentin Quarantino is a political refugee from the UK who has been living happily in the Czech Republic for well over a decade now. His interests include beer, of course, nature, and avoiding stupid people.

Harley Quarantinova is a Czech nature lover who is always overjoyed when Spring arrives at last, and is even happier this year as she can have a valid excuse to avoid people when she is out enjoying it. Currently on the hunt for her most recently lost marbles.

As for why we're qualified - we're living this shit. What else do we need?

Lockdown in Czechia - Day One - Monday March 16th 2020

Report by Trentin Quarantino

Awoke from peaceful slumber at around 10am to the unwelcome but not exactly unexpected news that the country is now under total lockdown, with the whole nation officially quarantined until March 24th.

My British genes try to force me to run to the store and go panic buying everything that I can find, but then I remember that I'm not actually a selfish fuckwit, and a quick glance in the fridge is enough to remind me that there is plenty of food for the next few days, especially after cooking dinner last night and then not bothering to eat it.

I then spend several hours online checking to see what the actual restrictions are, because as always these days there is a lot of misinformation out there, so it's important to get the proper facts before taking action.

Quickly discover that the government is basically banning people from leaving home unless they have to - going to work is fine, or the supermarket, so that's the basics. It's also okay to walk your dog - even if you have the virus - take food or other important supplies to family members who cannot go and get them themselves, and that it's actually okay to go for a walk, as a nation of people in 24/7 confinement is sure to have a serious impact on mental health.

Supermarkets, pharmacies, pet stores, and gas stations are open - pretty much everything else is closed. Including the pubs, which is going to cause some issues in THIS country, although restaurants can prepare food and send it out for delivery.

So it's going to be a boring 9 days or so then!

By the time all of the relevant information has been processed and discussed it's lunchtime, and due to completely different restrictions already placed on Harley we're not going to be able to go for a refreshing walk today. So instead she goes for a cigarette while I cook lunch.

The afternoon is mostly spent alternating between total boredom - because all the things we always bitch about not having time to do normally have completely slipped our minds, and anger and frustration at the stupid people who seem determined to ignore the restrictions as much as possible - seeing people posting tips on which bars they can get beer from and discuss having 'quarantine parties' makes it clear that some people are just not taking this seriously enough.

By mid-afternoon the news filters through that from tomorrow people will have to wear face masks on public transport, so Harley gets her sewing machine and box of materials out and makes His and Hers matching plague masks. We know they wont really protect us from much, but at least they look amazing.

Eventually it occurs to us to eat yesterday's dinner, so we do that and decide to have an early night. Only to lie in bed discussing how annoying it is that we didn't get to enrol in the Krav Maga class we were planning on taking. This gives Harley the idea to make a couple of clubs by cutting the sleeves off an old sweatshirt and stuffing them with tshirts, and before long we're beating each other over the head with them in the name of exercise.

Fun, completely consensual and not in any way domestic violence-y times were had!

Harley then decides to get her guitar out and play a few songs, and by this time I've had enough fun for one day and retire to bed after checking online one more time and seeing people claiming that there is no such thing as Corona Virus, and if there is it's really just some sort of conspiracy to force people to acccept climate change vaccines.

Additional reporting by Harley Quarantinova

Seventh day after my meltdown. Mind still running wild. Need to do something with my hands. Luckily got a tip from a friend to make DIY face masks to wear outside. Looks like it's going to be mandatory soon enough.

Making face masks looks successful. At least now I'll have a perfectly valid reason for dressing like a lunatic in public. Everybody is. I think I'm going to feel much more normal now that everyone else is a bit nuts and paranoid.

Trentin looks a bit creepy in his mask. He manages to look cunning no matter what he puts on...

I feel accomplished now but not any more relaxed than before. Just less guilty for not taking the crisis seriously. I am now. And I'm going to show the whole world what a responsible adult I am. Here you go - Facebook masked couple selfie. Now validate my trying to fit in, everybody!

Okay, got rid of the stupid pandemic anxiety but now I'm getting annoyed with being shut in a tiny apartment with a huge guy, and getting slightly bored. And frustrated that we didn't get a chance to go for a walk in the empty city centre before this damn lockdown.

Usually I'm perfectly fine lying in bed doing nothing for days, but now every single minute of doing fuck all is eating away the last bits of my sanity. I'm feeling violent. And my man is bugging me about doing something together. Bastard. My inspiration is very low, I want to smack him for wanting me to think constructively... Wait... I want to smack him..

Okay honey, here you go. I cut off the sleeves off a sweatshirt, sewed up the wider ends of each one. Now be a helpful man and give up some of those old t-shirts you no longer wear. I'll contribute another old sweater. Okay, now let's stuff the sleeves with them and sew up the other ends.

Now try to hit me with it. Fun, isn't it?

We had to rearrange the furniture a bit for our first big black dick fight, but it was very uplifting to smack each other with them. I'm better in it though - either he doesn't know how to duck and cover or he's deliberately letting me win.

If our plan to get up early tomorrow and fuck off to the nature doesn't fail we're bringing these with us so we don't have to be careful about not trashing the apartment.

At night some more crying, anxiety, feeling like a bloody loser, but nothing special. Discovered video calls exist.

Lockdown in Czechia - Day Two - Tuesday March 17th 2020

Report by Trentin Quarantino

Due to a curfew imposed on Harley we get up early - well, earlier than we'd really like anyway - to go for a walk in the forest. We have a three hour window and walk out the front door at exactly 10.01am and walk to the metro station, where we have to wear our masks for the first time. It's noticeable that most people are also behaving responsibly, with the exception being the elderly people who are most at risk from the virus.

Well, I guess they survived Communism so  a stupid virus is no problem.

We only went two stops on the metro - one of the advantages of living in Prague is that you are never too far away from a park, and promptly removed our masks once we were out in the forest. This is a place we've been to many times before, and it's weird to see it so quiet. Not that we're complaining - we're just happy to be outside.

Harley in particular is clearly overjoyed, taking time to take photos of anything and everything that she can see is starting to bloom, and saying hello to plants and any animals we happen to see during our walk. I can see her mental health improving with every step, and this alone is enough reason to leave the house for a few hours.

We take the clubs we made yesterday with us and have a fight in the middle of the forest, which seems to cause some consternation for the few joggers that pass us. But this is cathartic, and healthy - we aren't trying to hurt each other, and it would probably take about 500 direct shots to the head to induce even the mildest of concussions - but being stuck inside means we have so much pent up energy and this is a simple way to get it out of our system.

We get home a minute or two after Harley's curfew ends, so we're safe from the sick leave inspection for another day, and then I go straight out to the store while I still have my mask on - there is no official need to wear the mask to the store yet, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out it's coming.

When I get to the store I'm semi-disappointed to see that there is still no panic buying frenzy going on - it seems people here are civilised and realise there is no need to buy six months of everything just in case the zombies attack or something. I guess this means the Czech Republic is officially now more advanced than places like the UK, where the government are saying business as usual and the people are saying shop for apocalypse.

When I get home from the store I cook a quick lunch, and then settle down to the main business of the day, which is cooking dinner. We have a duck sitting in our fridge, and it's about time he was introduced to the oven. Once the duck is prepared and in the oven working on his suntan, Harley and I retire to bed for a nap, because why not? Then we have a better idea.

And so it comes to pass that on a Tuesday afternoon during quarantine we decide to start a his and hers blog to keep daily track of life under lockdown, partly because we think there might be people out there who want to read it, but mostly because it will give us a rare chance to see how differently we might be viewing the same events from the same room.

And also just in case society ends next month in a blaze of mass hysteria, and some future generation needs a record of what went wrong so they can totally fail to learn from it.

With the blog up online and attracting practically no attention whatsover, we settle down to eat the duck. Which is cooked perfectly, despite it being me who did the cooking. We spend the rest of the evening in a food coma, before retiring to bed for the night with the Dropkick Murphy's who are playing a live show to no people and broadcasting it online for St Patricks Day.

Additional reporting by Harley Quarantinova

We were able to get up in time to leave the house right after my 3 hours of freedom a day began. Am anxious about going outside but the government website clearly states it's allowed to go for walks to parks and nature.

It surprises me how many people are wearing the face masks and how calm and disciplinned everybody is. Since today it's mandatory to wear masks on public transport, they even installed hand sanitizer dispensers in every metro station.

Two stops from ours is the forest we were aiming for. There weren't many people there, almost nobody wore masks but very happily obeyed the official 2-metre social distancing advice. It's never been this easy to be an introvert before. We're not antisocial, we're responsible and considerate!

And, of course, I saw the first wild flowers this year and jumped up and down and pointed at every woodpecker and bumblebee and greeted blossoms and leaves and gave Trentin random lectures of how to distinguish blackberry and blueberry buds. Scanning my surroundings for plants and animals to get excited about is my favourite passtime.

It was considerably hard to find a godforsaken empty space to have another fat black soft cock fight on, so we ended up smacking each other in the middle of a path and probably confused a few runners and dog owners. Trentin got much better since yesterday, he looked like he's trying to exorcise all the nasty bugs out of my ass, back, legs and head.

When we got sufficiently exhausted and started feeling appropriately ridiculous it was time to head home so I wouldn't break my curfew. We passed a playground with kids jammed inside a little play shelter. Undoubtedly they were playing quarantine.

First thing after coming home we cook some lunch on 3 burners and boil the masks on the remaining one.

My friend called me to tell me she also lost her mind at work and will be on sick leave for the rest of the month.

I also managed to make my first ever video call! Another friend who's on sick leave is fighting the crisis and pain with all kinds of nice drugs. Unfortunately those wouldn't work for me. Talking to people, keeping my hands and mind busy and staying away from the internet is my recipe. And I'm failing terribly on the avoiding internet part. Or keeping my mind off the work stuff. Must try harder in future.

But we're cooking duck for dinner, that always makes my day better. Duck is the perfect antidepressant/antianxiety medication.

Trentin's duck was absolutely perfect. After a long time I'm so happy to eat! I'm praising the bird with every bite I take.

Of course, in the meantime we very accidentally blew our Facebook friends' minds with officially announcing we share a household. Since August 2018. No real news, guys. And the reaction is the same as if we just got bloody married. Real reason is that Facebook hates me and doesn't want to show me what Trentin posts so I have to fucking stalk him to find out what he reads, shares, posts, thinks, likes... Bloody hell, nobody has enough time and attention for that these days!

Please, social networks, stop filling my feed with what my rich successful amazing highschool classmates do and help me out in keeping track of the man I actually want to know inside and out!

So I discussed this with Trentin and we came out with the same conclusion - let's officially declare our partnership on the bloody social media. Not that it helped - I still need to stalk him. I think I will cheat as usual and just open my mouth and talk to him.

We decided to end our day with a punk concert. It's St. Patrick's Day and this Irish band from Boston is live streaming their show for all the people who cannot leave their homes to come and watch them. So they perform on a usual stage without any actual audience. It's admirable but also very bizarre to watch.

Trentin falls asleep soon, as he always does in front of the screen. I'm doing my best to enjoy the music without being able to recognise the words. Second portion of the duck should help with that. Unfortunately Trentin let his enthusiasm lead his hand with the caraway and this night promises to be an exceptionally windy one.

   

Lockdown in Czechia - Day Three - Wednesday March 18th 2020

Report by Trentin Quarantino

Breaking news today is that masks have to be worn in stores and anywhere else someone might be working, not just on public transport. We're both too tired to really be bothered going out when we wake up though - no forest trip today - especially after Harley had more crap dreams about work last night.

I'm not sure I'll ever forgive myself for suggesting she take a job where I work - I've been there for so long that I barely register the bullshit and crap management these days, but for her as a new hire it was a different story. And now they've broken her with their fuckwit-ery.

Bastards.

After a while I decide to head out alone to go and get some much needed supplies - with the most important thing being WD-40 to fix a squeaky bedroom door - more on that later. On venturing outside I can see that the huge majority of people are now wearing masks at all times, even in cars, but I keep mine off until I get to the store.

I get most of the things I need, then take a bus to another place to pick up food for our hedgehog and some Bun Cha for lunch. By the time I get home my ears are hurting from the mask straps - first world problems I guess.

By lunchtime it's been announced that from tomorrow masks must be worn at all times when outside your home, which I guess technically means even in the forests. Well that's not going to happen - my ears would probably drop off after a few hours. We'll work out some way of covering mouth and nose quickly when we get close to other people and that should do - it's not like we can be fined from a distance anyway!

It's also announced that from tomorrow all stores will be exclusively for old people between 10am and 12 noon - I guess this is so they can continue to walk around mask-less. Unlike the rest of us trying to protect them.

I spend the afternoon reading The Stand by Stephen King, because reading about a fictional global pandemic in the middle of an actual global pandemic is just how I roll, while Harley spends the afternoon making a pair of shoes for one of her friends from her magic box of materials. I swear there's nothing that girl cannot make, she's so unlike me. The only thing I make today is a nuisance of myself when I try to fix the squeaky door and accidentally spray WD-40 on the wall instead.

I'm an idiot.

I consider cooking, but as Harley is happy with eating the Bun Cha I got for lunch for dinner - I really wish she'd eat more often, but stress from work bullshit has messed up her appetite, I settle for finishing off the duck from yesterday. Which makes me wish I had another duck lying around. I guess I can get another once I make some space in the fridge for it by cooking tomorrow - the advantage of living in a country where panic buying isn't a thing is a complete lack of stress about whether I can get the food I want tomorrow.

By the time we've eaten it's getting late, so after posting the day's update here we settle down to watch one of my favourite chill-out Youtube channels, which is basically three guys in Australia taking advantage of having the keys to a gravity test center by throwing all manner of things off a massive tower to see what happens - it's much funnier than the summary probably suggests in fairness.

And then, sleep. And hopefully nature tomorrow, where we'll try not to be fined for not wearing masks around trees...

Additional reporting by Harley Quarantinova

Woke up vigilant and ready to defend myself. Still expecting the manager from my dream to jump out of somewhere and continue trying to punish me because I failed to commit suicide. My dreams are fucked up.

So are the people outside making that weird noise. It really pissed me off to see that even in this time of crisis it's deemed necessary to have people blow dry leaves off the few patches of grass in front of the house. Makes me angry, not just because it's loud but also because it's stupid. Nature has a way of making use of dead leaves, they decompose and help the soil retain moisture. I'm sure that in few weeks we'll be complaining about another season of extreme drought and lack of underground water.

Tried to calm myself down with a soothing bath but felt too restless and idle after few minutes. And stupid for wasting the water in vain. Need to think of some more silly things to do to occupy my mind and distract myself from all the world's problems.

Spent few hours on a call with my fellow mentally indisposed friend ranting about the world going sideways down lately and made an agreement. Let's work on helping each other out as much as possible, even when we're separated by 100+ kilometres of hostile infested ground. She misses wearing the shoes I used to make for her and myself, I miss her raw nut candy. So I reckon there will be two very precious packages travelling in opposite directions pretty soon.

I managed to find the leather she picked and the cutting pattern we designed together few years ago while still on phone with her so she got to be there when her new shoes were getting born.

It took me several hours to finish them, and I did so with a warm feeling of satisfaction and closeness despite the great distance between us and the long time we haven't had a chance to meet each other.

Trentin is sweet. He found some music I'd never heard before to play in the background of my creative concentration. It suited my mood, thoughts and feelings so perfectly that it was unbelievably nice to lose track of time and just let things happen. Sewing always makes me feel calm and focused. I'm sure I'll come up with plenty more stuff to make in the following days.

It's heartwarming to sit in the same room with my loved one and each do our own stuff. Seeing him sitting on the couch scribbling in his notebook made everything absolutely right. I love my man's writing and feel an almost sacred atmosphere around him when he's doing his magic. And from the look of respect in his eyes it seems to me he percieves my sewing the same way.

So it looks like we survived another of these days in a much better way than I expected. Still 2,5 hours to go though...

In that time I expect to have one more cigarette, finally eat the lunch Trentin brought home earlier, and watch some crazy Australian people throw things from a high tower. 

Lockdown in Czechia - Day Four - Thursday March 19th 2020

Report by Trentin Quarantino

I wake up to the sound of birds singing outside the window at 8.30am. Bastards clearly don't realise that there's a crisis going on. Or don't care. It should be illegal to be that chirpy at that time of the morning, even for birds.

I can already tell I'm going to be in one of THOSE moods today.

As Harley is only allowed outside between 10am and 1pm, and as she wants to go to the post office to post the shoes she made yesterday, we head to a local park for a morning walk. Post office, like all stores, is reserved for people over 65 until 12 noon, and by the time we get outside it's 10.30, but at least we get to be out of the flat for a while.

As it's now illegal to be outside without covering your mouth and nose Harley fashions a couple of facemasks out of headscarves so we can keep the masks she made a few days ago clean for the post office, and walking around we see that almost everyone is now abiding by the rule. Although it feels really surreal to see people walking around in facemasks, something that would have been unimaginable even a week ago, it's good to see that almost everyone is taking the situation seriously.

Of course there are some people that don't seem to comprehend how masks work - one guy has his mouth covered but not his nose, and a couple of old people have masks that only actually cover their chin. But as the old are the most vulnerable I guess they feel they can take the risk if they want to. Personally I'm waiting to see the first person who has cut a hole in their mask so they can smoke through it - I know it's only a matter of time.

I joke with Harley that maybe the virus was released by ISIS to force Sharia Law on us through the back door, and then realise that as soon as I post this statement there will be idiots on the internet who will actually believe that this is what happened. I guess I'm now the distrubutor of Fake News then...

After Harley does her thing at the post office we separate briefly so I can go to the store to see if they by any chance have a thing that I believe to be called a Snood, as I think these could be useful for going outside in the coming days or weeks. They don't have any, but then my mood officially tanks for the day when I get a message from one of my managers.

The message starts with "Hi. I'm guessing you still want to be off next week", and ends with "Options are take a 40% pay cut to stay home to look after Harley, or take annual leave and lose your holidays. The choice is yours".

I can feel the steam coming out of my ears as I read this, and the idiot that sent the message needs to count himself lucky the office is quarantined and I don't know where he lives, or I'd be going to see him and teach him a little bit about a Czech tradition called defenestration.

I'll list the problems with this message he sends here:

1 - I do not WANT to be off work next week. I am, in fact, more than happy to work next week. I just need somewhere to do it that isn't our home.

2 - The reason I cannot work from home is Harley - she is recovering from a mental breakdown caused by that job. Her chances of recovering from that breakdown whilst I am doing the job that broke her in our kitchen are about as high as the chances of Donald Trump being unmasked as the world's smartest man.

3 - Even if she hadn't had the breakdown, I work nights, on the telephone, in a small flat. So if I were to work from home I'd be keeping her awake all night. Which is something I'm not prepared to do - I have a fucked up body clock and am a night owl. I'm not going to force her to become one too.

4 - All of this was discussed in depth with my managers last week, before the building was quarantined because of an infected member of staff. Clearly they didn't listen to me, which shouldn't come as a surprise really considering their inability to use their ears directly contributed to Harley's breakdown.

5 - Their 'solutions' to the problem both involve me being punished - either 40% pay cut or lose my holiday entitlement. And what happens with the next quarantine period? Do I give up even more of my holidays, and then start cancelling all of the things I'm looking forwards to in order to benefit the company? 

Fuck that, and fuck them. Wankers.

I'm really pissed off when I get home, and quickly discover that Harley is equally angry as another colleague is messaging her about the fact she is becoming sick working from home without the adequate tools she needs to do the job. And another colleague who was sick before the building got shut down has been asked to kindly stop being sick and go back to work because the company needs all the people it can get working right now - this last one is downright illegal.

So Harley and I have another fight with our home-made clubs, and that helps to work off at least some of the frustrations, but by no means all of it. I at least manage to calm down enough to think more clearly than just listening to the red mist telling me to kill them all, and make a decision to contact an employment lawyer as soon as possible once this crisis ends.

It's time to find out what my actual rights are and then take things from there.

And then another manager starts messaging me on the Book of Face to see if we can find somewhere I can work from. It's instantly clear that he hasn't spoken to the first idiot - for a communication company the place I work is really shit at having people talk to one another. The conversation lasts for a few hours with no real progress being made, and while it's taking place I make dinner - who says men can't multi-task?

For the record, for anyone wondering why this conversation is only happening on Day Four of the national lockdown, I should point out that I have a silly work schedule that means I only actually work for 12 days a month, so I have a week off each month as standard. So I was happy to give them the first few days of the week to deal with the crisis of arranging for everyone to work from home. 

Everyone except me, that is. Because I'm special. Well, Harley is anyway, and I will always do what I can to protect her.

No matter what I do today though nothing is really taking a proper grip on my anger for any length of time. I try to keep it inside as much as possible, because the last thing Harley needs is an enraged neanderthal stomping around the house, but she's angry too so this day is guaranteed to be pretty much written off as one of the shit ones.

We spend a little time in the early evening trying to learn a song together called Misanthropic Drunken Loner - Harley already knows it pretty well, and quickly teaches herself to play it on guitar too. Our efforts aren't great - mainly because I can't sing, but it helps a little. I then quickly re-write another song I never heard before, but we don't get a chance to try that one as there's a comedy show being live streamed that we both want to watch.

Except, the comedy show is dreadful, truly dire. Improv comedy is of course a team sport by nature, and when the team are confined to their own homes and trying to work using technology that clearly isn't working properly and has an obvious lag happening, it's something that just doesn't work.

I applaud their efforts for trying, but we barely manage ten minutes before we give it up. And then Harley comes over all sick suddenly. 

Fuck.

She appears to have a mild fever, but feels absolutely dreadful. We're literally laughing and joking one minute and she crashes the next. I'm hoping it's simply because she didn't eat today - yes, I cooked dinner, but we didn't eat it yet - but there is no way to really tell for sure. 

She wants to be alone for a while so I go panic in the kitchen for an hour or so, hoping she's at least able to sleep. After a while she joins me and is clearly upset that I'm upset. I need to find a way to persuade her that she isn't to blame for everything that ever happens to anyone she is ever associated with.

I manage to eat while we talk, but she isn't able to eat anything - which unfortunately means nothing much - her not eating is far too common for my liking, no matter how much I try to limit what I cook to things I know she likes to eat. So lack of appetite isn't a sign she has the virus. Or can't be taken as one anyway.

This is fucked.

The rest of the night basically consists of talking and crying before we go to bed. I really hope she feels better when she wakes up in the morning.

Additional reporting by Harley Quarantinova

Woke up determined to make the most out of the fact that Spring is invading every corner of Prague now, improvised some face covers out of headscarves for Trentin and myself as we will need the actual masks to still be dry and as clean as possible when we go to the post office later.

Noticed that about 98% of the people outside are approaching the situation very responsibly and not half-assing it as I would have expected. It is still silly to look at the dog owners in parks. Now they are the ones who need to wear muzzles! And not only on public transport, everywhere! I wonder what dogs think about that.

On our way from the park to the post office I saw two things that stood out. The first was a group of three policemen trying to persuade a drunken person to leave the bus stop bench. There was something unspeakably polite and at the same time creepy about the situation - even the dirty drunk had his face properly covered...

We also walked past two uncovered people who seemed absolutely unaware of all the silent well-managed madness around them - a woman sitting on her heels in the middle of a path showing her approximately 4 years old son how to set fire to dead leaves. The child wanted to show initiative and tried to contribute with an old pinecone, but the mom obviously didn't think it was the right time for it just yet.

We arrived at the post office a few minutes after 12, till then it's reserved for people aged 65+ which makes perfect sense to me. There were workers going around disinfecting tables, that impressed me. Less impressive was the woman selling me special envelopes I needed in order to send my valuable packages. She improvised covering her face with a headband that wasn't wide enough. She looked silly with the red strap over her nose. It's reassuring to see that even the international health panic isn't able to change anything about Czech postworkers' laid-back attitude.

Trentin went hunting for food without me. He came home angry because of some work stuff. I cannot go into details about work, not only because I signed a paper saying I wouldn't, but also because it still turns my stomach. Nevertheless more work stuff filtered through thanks to a desperate colleague so me and Trentin went for another huge ding-dong slapping match to cool down a bit.

I can never apologise to him enough for how all the frustration and anger ended up being transformed into very loud, forcefull, and most probably really painful hits. I tried to avoid his head this time though, because no matter what he says I'm afraid today I could manage to accidentally turn a humorously shaped pillow into a murder weapon.

We're both still enraged but less frustrated now. He's using his excessive energy on cutting carrots, I'll probably tear up some of his old shirts to create headscarves. They're easier to make than proper face masks, do probably as good a job as them as well, and once this hysteria is over I can use them for their main purpose.

Most of our afternoon got repeatedly hijacked by thoughts of work even though none of us is on active duty this week, but more frustration and hatred accumulated. This time we try turning it into yelling a punk song about what waste of breath humans are that Trentin is memorising the words of now.

Our attempt of making music sucked much less than the streamed comedy soiree we were looking forward to watching. We only survived for about 10 minutes before turning it off. Shortly after that I freaked us both out by almost passing out and asking for a thermometer as I suddenly started feeling dizzy, weak and shaky.

My temperature is pathetic 37°C which according to Trentin's internet search is normal. Well, I don't feel normal, asshole, so stick the whole Internet up your butt. Also, I'm 31, I took my body temperature before and know what is normal for me. I hate doctor Google. And I don't need this additional stress I'm putting on myself. Staying away from the pandemic and work news, that's what I need. Given my partner still has to be in occasional contact with the management even on his days off makes that a bit hard.

Everything is more than just a bit hard now. I'm internally suffocating in the shitty situation I put myself into. It's easiest to blame myself for everything because that way I can try to help myself get out of that shit. God knows the people who had the power to prevent the shit from happening to me don't give a single tiny fuck.

I'd like to give up fighting for anything now. Probably the best idea is to try going to sleep now, this day felt too weird and just wrong. And once again I didn't manage to eat anything substantial today.

Lockdown in Czechia - Day Five - Friday March 20th 2020

Report by Trentin Quarantino

I wake up at 8.30am, just as Harley gets a call from her friend Sue, the friend she made the shoes for a couple of days ago. My instincts, and experience, tell me this call could take a while, but in the brief moment I see Harley before she heads outside for coffee and a cigarette she looks a hell of a lot better than last night. So that's at least a positive start to the day.

At 9.40am they are still talking. I check with Harley to see if she wants to brave the great outdoors today, but she's engrossed in her phone call and so I spend a bit of time updating the blog with yesterdays news, and note that Harley somehow already managed to write her update - probably when I was banished to the kitchen last night hoping she was sleeping.

By 11am they are still talking, so I settle down to read for the duration. It could take a while...

At lunchtime I get another message on the Book of Face from the manager who actually seems to listen to me when I explain my issues, and it seems there may be a solution. There is a colleague who is out of town for the duration of the crisis, and one of my Night Demon colleagues is working from his flat. So as long as he's okay with sharing the space I have a place I can work next week, and so can save my vacation days for more important stuff - like shenanigans.

This improves my mood a little, but as working remotely is evidently a shitshow for everyone I'm really not looking forwards to joining the crew again next week.

The phone call is now at four hours and counting. Make that five. And now it's finally over!

After the epic conversation Harley seems enthused with the idea of setting up some sort of online craft store once the current crisis is over. This is something I will be happy to support in any way I can, as not only is she good at making all manner of things, she really enjoys it and it helps her keep calm.

So a win-win as far as I'm concerned - once the lockdown is over I'll go and stock up on whatever materials and other things she needs to get started - this has to be better than her being a wage slave for people who literally drive her to insanity.

The song I re-wrote yesterday turns out to be shit, so I spend most of the afternoon re-writing Eleanor Rigby by The Beatles and giving it a modern, current twist. This originally takes about twenty minutes, but then Harley gets all difficult and wants things to rhyme and shit so she makes me do it properly. Then makes it more difficult by playing the piano in the other room while I'm trying to be creative.

Eventually though I manage to get it done to a level that is suitable for a woman of her talents - and I say this with admiration for her many skills, not in any way to be flippant or dismissive for the record. After singing it through a couple of times it sounds decent too, so I feel happy with myself for creating something. I won't post the whole thing here, but for anyone interested the chorus goes;

All the stupid people

Where do they all come from?

All the selfish people

Where did we go wrong?

So as you can probably guess it's super light hearted and uplifting...

The rest of the afternoon is spent with us both sitting on the couch writing, her jotting down her memoirs of the day so far - at least that's what I guess she's doing - and me writing a pointless essay about being born in the wrong place and time that will probably find it's way to some dark corner of the internet to be ignored forever at some point later today.

I suppose one good thing coming out of this lockdown for me is that I'm actually writing stuff again - I've been unable to write anything for years now, yet with this blog, re-written songs, and the essay, I start to believe that maybe, just maybe, there's a chance I can complete the novels I started writing several years ago.

Most of the rest of the day is spent quietly reading, although we do go through yesterday's blog post and Harley is kind enough to point out that I appear to have forgotten how to use English grammar properly. Of course, it's possible I never really knew this as well as I thought I did, and all my years working as a proofreader were just a massive con job.

It was well paid though while it lasted, so I don't mind!

Late in the evening we learn a second colleague has the virus. It's someone I barely know, so I'm probably okay, and 12 days since Harley last saw them. so hopefully we're going to be okay and avoid infection. For now at least. We both feel that we're going to get it sooner or later no matter what precautions we take, but in the meantime we'll do our best to follow any rules that are put in place in order to protect others.

This is a really shit end to what was, for the most part, a reasonably nice day, and soon after hearing this news we're both in bed for the night.

Additional reporting by Harley Quarantinova

Another messed up dream to wake up from - I was given a task to check copies of some documents and make sure they matched each other. No matter how hard I tried to fix them they would never end up identical.

Spent a few hours on the phone with my creative friend and got to at least partially witness her joy when the package with shoes I made for her arrived. Since then the conversation revolved around us starting a business together. She thinks I could make a living from selling different things I can manufacture, and she would be very happy to contribute with her promoting skills, and eventually some products of her own. Neither of us has much choice in this in long run really - we keep burning out as employees for all the same reasons so we might as well give up and do what we do best.

The talk filled my head with optimistic fantasies and plans and helped me feel like I might have a chance to live my life in a meaningful way one day after all.

Physically I feel considerably better than yesterday but mentally I'm still very fragile. My heartbeat is unnecessarily fast as if I was faced with a life-threatening danger. I'm constantly ready to jump up and fight for survival.

I managed to make an appointment to see a psychiatrist next week.

Also managed to get frustrated with myself as I just cannot get the melody of the song Trentin re-wrote yesterday right. When I'm finally ready to give up trying he comes with a Beatles' song he re-wrote that doesn't have such tricky chords but I'm not clear enough on the melody either. I made him change some words so the lyrics fit the rhythm and rhyme where they need to. Now I cannot get it out of my head but anything is better than the shit nesting there usually.

I feel like I didn't accomplish much today. And days start to merge into one another, actually, I have difficulties remembering any that would stand out in a good way since... forever. This lockdown is not better or worse than any other shitty time of my life, it's just a new shade of personal hell, not as sharp as others but darker and thicker than most. My main goal is to survive this one without being admitted to psychiatric hospital. Holding the shit together without doing anything worrying and dangerous.

I'm doing my best to stay away from people who are not self-proclaimed lunatics now. I'm worried I might spread my mental state onto them, and also I know I'm no longer comprehensible for most people. The friends I used to share my everyday reality with before the meltdown now feel to me like they're living in another dimension and don't even speak the same language. I'm sorry, guys. I'll eventually bounce back to your world, I promise. Just don't forget me and please don't hate me for being a proper psycho.

Our pet hedgehog's breathing sounds a bit strange so I decided to check her and find out whether she looks healthy. I'm worried she might get infected so I wash my hands properly before touching her. But then she tries to climb up my arm and hide in my shirt so I get anxious as my clothes are definitely not sterile and I'm putting her at risk by even picking her up. The last thing I want is to kill our animal with my selfishness and stupidity.

I'll check on Google what the chances of the terrifying virus being passed from humans to domestic animals are later, but mainly have to concentrate on getting rid of all the fear, guilt and paranoia at this moment. I think a soothing bath is in order. I hope I can drown my demons in the nice smelling bubbles, and also that the last remaining bits of my sanity can swim.

Turns out they cannot. It would be inappropriate to be sane now anyway. Two evening calls from my friends make it clear to me that I'm not the only one struggling with staying grounded in this situation. One of the people I really admired for their responsible and sensible approach to this crisis was tested positive for the damn thing. This news doesn't change anything on how I feel about my chances of having it. We weren't in any close contact despite me hoping that one day we could find an opportunity to talk as I feel I can never have too many decent people around me.

My anxiety was replaced by the feeling of deep helplesness and loneliness despite the fact that Trentin is always around to hold me and be there for me. Quick internet search reveals that, logically, so far nobody investigated whether Covid kills pygmy hedgehogs, and I desperately need to hold my animal and let her show me there are worse things than my paranoia, for example her being picked up from her box by an annoying human and persuaded to accept cuddles. 

Her displeasement and sudden vitality had an usual effect on me - I fell asleep while she massaged my stomach with her little feet, woke up with poop on my shirt, let her go back to her house and climbed to my own bed for another fruitless effort of refreshing night's rest.